Huff… huff… huff…
Swish.
The blanket was thrown off the bed unknowingly when I suddenly woke up in bed with a pounding heart, profusely sweating and scared. It was just a dream.
No. It was a nightmare.
It’s been three days and I’ve been having the same dream over and over again, but every time I wake up I completely forget what the dream was about. Only the feeling remains.
I looked around my room to make sure it wasn’t real. My bedroom door was securely locked and it was fairly dark except for the soft light that was coming through the open window near my bed. The alarm clock on top of the bedside table, just right under the lampshade was blaring its digits at me. There were two picture frames beside the clock, one was taken when I was 12 years old while the other was the latest picture I had. The old one was a picture of an unsmiling me, my father, Kenshi and Takumi. Junichi insisted on taking a photo us during that time. In the other picture, I had a small smile pasted on my face although it was barely visible it was still there. The picture was taken with Mao, Sakura, Aoi, Shun, Toma and Shindo during the day that the sports festival in school ended. Everyone were in high spirits that even I couldn’t help but be happy even though our level only ended up second, nevertheless I still enjoyed the whole event.
When I looked back at the clock, it showed 4 am. It was too early. I was never a morning person so I threw myself back into bed and tried to sleep but I can’t remove the feeling I had from that nightmare. I opted to stare at the ceiling to calm my still pounding heart and thought of counting sheep when the hand phone beside me rang with the ring tone ‘Beautiful Days’ by Arashi that Mao insisted I use.
“Mosh mosh?” I answered it without looking at the caller ID.
-Shinku?-
I heard the familiar voice from the other line.
“Shindo?” I asked with uncertainty. Why would he call this early in the morning?
-Yes, it’s me.-
“Why are you calling so early in the morning?” The hard pounding of my heart was replaced by something else, not fear but instead excitement.
-I was trying my luck if you’re awake. Want to go for a ride?-
“Where?”
-You’ll know when we get there.-
“Why do you always like to surprise me?”
-Because no one ever surprises me.-
I could just imagine Shindo’s lopsided grin.
“Baka.” I called out not really meaning it.
-You turned me into one.-
That was his response which made me smile early that morning.
“Give me 15 minutes. I’ll meet you in front of my house.”
-Ok.-
Beep.
I hurriedly got out of bed, took a quick shower and rushed down the stairs. That’s when Shinji saw me.
“Where are you going?” He asked nonchalantly as he stood at the end of the stairs while sipping his coffee from a white mug.
“Out.” I answered discreetly while I wore my leather jacket and clutched the Helmet that Shindo gave me.
“Out for a ride early in the morning?”
“Yes.”
“With that boy?” Kenshi raised his brow teasingly.
Silence.
“Yes.” I answered a bit embarrassed.
“Have a good time.” He shrugged which caught me off guard.
“No Shinji following me around?” I asked hopefully.
“No Shinji following you around this time, but you have to take care of yourself on your own. Do I have your word for it?” Kenshi said with a hint of reluctance in his voice.
“I will.” I reassured him.
“Try to keep your phone on at all times.” He added.
Something was up, I could feel it. Kenshi doesn’t usually let me go out without a single body guard by my side, but I was too excited to get out with Shindo that I didn’t think too much about it. When he insisted on meeting everyone from my house hold after the sports festival at school, I was able to bring him in my home while stressing over the things that he would be seeing in my place but in the end I was just worrying for nothing. Kenshi already sort of approved of him, Shinji does seem to like him even though he almost killed Shindo the first time they met, this leaves Junichi and Takumi which has the utter most distaste for Shindo for whatever reason it is, I wouldn’t want to know.
Although Shindo knew where my house was located, no one dared to mention about me being a Yakuza boss. I made the girls swear an oath, so I trust they would not say a word about it. Everyone tried to look normal during Shindo’s visit. It was particularly hard when he tried to look at the garage where almost all of the ammo’s where in. Junichi was grumbling the whole time when he had to cover up everything just for Shindo’s visit.
When I stepped out of the gate, Shindo was already there leaning by his motorbike at the other side of the street, waiting for me. The sky was still dark when I looked up, then I thought of how unusual it was for me to be up early in the morning and Shindo doesn’t even know how lucky he was I was meeting up with him in a time I detest so much. Usually I become crabby to anyone who wakes me up at this kind of time.
“Hi.” Was all I could say as I approached him.
“Good morning.” Shindo replied as he gave me a smile, then he hopped on his bike and patted the back seat.
I wore the helmet before climbing at the back seat. As I sat comfortably behind him, he slipped his hands behind to take mine and wrapped it around his waist, he turned his head to look at me over his shoulders with a mischievous grin on his face,
“Hold on tight.”
Then he quickly wore his own helmet and kicked the bike to life.
Vroooom...
The engine started and the bike jerked forward making me hold on tighter onto Shindo’s waist. The wind slapped my face hard that I could barely open my eyes, we were going too fast and the cold wind was tousling my hair… it was really a good thing I had the helmet on and that I wore a jacket, thanks to the previous motorcycle experience with this guy I knew what to expect.
This reminded me that Takumi had a bike too, I’ve only ridden it once on an emergency but he never ever let me hold that bike of his. He always had this thing for his bike, calling it his baby that it would disgust me so much I have to leave him alone.
As I clutched Shindo’s back I could see the surroundings, we’re right in the heart of the city and passing several districts along the way until we entered the freeway… we were going at top speed when I shouted to ask where we’re going. Shindo shrugged his shoulders making the waiting more unbearable. I wanted to pinch him and yet I am not the kind of girl who does pinching, I kick ass.
When the freeway finally ended we hit a smaller road where there were villages and farms, lights coming from houses could be seen in a distance which made me realized that we’ve already gone a long distance within a very short amount of time. Only 30 minutes has passed in our travelling time and the sun wasn’t even out yet. I looked ahead of the road and saw several hilltops on the view. I had an itching feeling to where we were heading to.
The rough road started as the paved road ended, it was a very bumpy ride for a bike and my butt hit the back-sit again and again that I stood up to stop the vicious cycle. Shindo had already done the same thing I was doing right now, I was just too late to notice because I have been too engrossed with our surroundings. A couple more minutes has passed and we suddenly came to a halt that I was almost thrown out of the seat, if not for the power grip I had around Shindo.
“Where are we?” I asked as I looked around, it was still dark and the only light we had were the ones coming from Shindo’s bike.
“You’ll see.”
He took off my helmet and hung it on one of the handles of his bike then he turned off the lights and took something from his jacket pocket. Out of it, he produced two headlamps. He wore one for himself and gave me the other then he took my hand and started to lead the way. We trekked slowly on that hill holding hands, I’ve never held someone’s hand this long, I should have realized sooner how good it was to hold someone’s hand. I snuck several glances from Shindo, as usual he didn’t talk that much. All he did for that duration of our walk was hold my hand and guided me along the way. When our path was void of trees, I began to notice that the sky was getting lighter and I could finally see blue specks from above.
“We still have a few minutes of walk.” Shindo said as he held my hand tighter, I knew he was excited even if he didn’t tell me.
After we walked for several minutes the sun was finally peeking over the horizon and it was another one of the best view I have seen. This one was very different from the beach, I could see the sun coming out of the valley from below. Shining through the whole area, giving light to everything on its path, it was glorious.
“This is my family’s hill.” Shindo started to say.
Huh?
“You own a hill.” I repeated as if it was a very simple thing to have.
“Yes, and that farm you’re looking over there.” Shindo pointed at the valley below.
“Why are you showing me this?” I asked, not because I am curious but because I knew that neither Shindo nor Shun were the boastful type. They don’t say things like this for no reason.
“I wanted you to meet someone.” He said with a soft tone in his voice.
I turned to look at him and he gave me a soft smile, turned around and took my hand. I walked a few steps by his side when I saw something that made me draw in my breath silently.
“That’s my dad. I wanted you to meet each other. This hill is my family’s grave yard, my father thought it would be a nice view to look over my family’s land. I guess he was right, so if I would die too I would be buried here as well.” He said this nonchalantly as if dying was something that is easy to get over with.
I stood there beside him, unable to speak.
“Otosan, this is Shinku. She’s a protector you know… people these days would think she’s a gang leader which knows nothing good but the truth is she’s a Yakuza clan leader with a heart. She came from the other clan that our family’s fought alongside with hundreds of years ago.”
Upon hearing this, I almost broke my knees and toppled over the grave stone. I turned my head sharply to look over Shindo and stagger backwards; I was too shocked to speak. My mouth was hanging open only able to mutter soundless things.
How in the world did Shindo know??? The girls? But… but… he mentioned that I was part of the clan who fought beside his family years ago. What was the meaning of this?
I blinked once. Twice… many more times after that to make sure this wasn’t another dream I just woke up with.
Was this for real? Had he known all along? What about Shun? Was our meeting not a pure coincidence then? What is happening here? I don’t know a single thing about clans forming alliances! All I knew was that I was to be the next leader and I had to lead, make decisions for the good of my own clan. Was this guy using me? No… he wouldn’t introduce me to his dead father in a hill’s grave yard if he was just using me.
“You’re shocked.” Shindo said calmly.
I wasn’t the typical girl who can be easily surprised or shocked with anything but this… this was different.
“You are damn right I am. Please do explain how you knew all about… me.” I said as calmly as I could, but I knew he noticed that my voice was trembling and that I had to clench my fists tightly to stop both of my hands from shaking.
His eyes darted from my hand to my face then started to speak.
“I knew about the Mamoru clan for a long time… you see, both of our fathers were friends, I also knew about the school that you’re studying from is owned by the person who was formerly in the Yakuza and was connected with our fathers. Taiyo sure is a nice person right?”
This made my eyes go wide even more.
He knew about Taiyo?!?
“My clan’s history went along with yours until this very generation when both of our fathers died and things got turned over to the eldest heir in the family. I’m just the second, so I don’t know everything… only my elder sister did. She’s in England right now and is managing several branches of hospitals there. I never knew about you or the fact that the Mamoru clan already had a turnover in their successor. We all thought that the right hand of your father would always succeed. I never knew that you were the new clan leader of the other family until I saw the picture in your place. Your father… I would never forget about him. He was the first person to teach me how to hold the katana.”
“He’s a good man… I wish he could have introduced us sooner.”
“Does Shun know about this?”
“He knew about the clans, but he doesn’t know about you… yet.”
“Are you planning to tell him about me?”
“Do you want me to?”
I went silent for a few seconds before answering.
“I don’t know.”
“Whenever you’re ready, but he would know eventually.”
“Your mother…” My voice trailed on when he interrupted.
“She knows. She already did, the moment you stepped into the house.”
“How?” I asked, unable to believe the things he is saying.
“She told me you looked like your mother, that’s all that she said. Until I discovered for myself what she was really talking about.”
I nodded my head numbly still in a daze after hearing all this.
“So why are you not in school?” I asked, this time more curious than I have ever been about him in my entire life.
“That’s going to be answered some other time.” He said with that same mischievous look he had earlier in front of my house.
“Oh, by the way… the school is a tougher place than you think it is. You have to keep your eyes open to any possibilities. Have you seen the movie Crow Zero?” Shindo asked while cocking his head to his left.
“I don’t have time to watch new movies these days.” I answered him.
He suddenly looked disappointed but he perked up immediately.
“I’ll give you a copy so you can check it out for your free time. The movie is about a Yakuza’s son entering into a high school. The leader is the head and all that stuff… the school you are in right now may be like that as well. You may not see it happening but internally it is.”
“What do you mean?” I frowned, not totally understanding him.
“It’s hard to explain. You would have to see it for yourself.”
I looked at him trying to understand all this.
“It’s overwhelming isn’t it? Let’s stop from here and watch the sun rise instead.” He turned around and walked started to walk over by the edge of the hill, but I grabbed his hand quickly.
“Wait!” I called out and held onto his hand. Shindo glanced at our hands which were clasped together.
“You never took the initiative to grab onto me.” He said softly. This made me withdraw my hand with embarrassment but Shindo held on tight not giving me the chance to take my hand away from his.
“Don’t. I like it this way. What were you going to ask?”
If I were Aoi, I would have blushed from my roots or if I was Mao I would have stuttered instantly but being the Shinku that I was, I stood silently for a few seconds letting my mind clear off from being momentarily startled before I started speaking.
“What exactly does your clan do?”
“We were your clan’s healer if I remember it correctly.”
When he said this, the history that has been always told to me which I have deliberately ignored for so long came rushing back at me. I remember that my father once told me every clan did not work alone as it is; it always had connections and a partner. One would lead while the others follow but there was also a clan that had held its own position, following no one but aids another. This is the case from Shindo’s clan.
“So you stood by my clan’s side for many generations?”
“We did, until this generation when things went… disarray.”
“I still don’t understand.” I muttered, really confused by now.
“Don’t try to, it will come to you one by one.”
We both looked over the horizon, I don’t know what was running into Shindo’s head right that moment… but mine was going from one place to another. Trying to answer questions for myself even though I knew that in the end, my head is still a blank slate.
What kind of a clan leader am I? I don’t know anything thing at all… and that’s what frustrates me the most. The moment of happiness I was supposed to feel right now was not there. I should have been happy to meet Shindo’s father, but I’m not because all I feel right now…
… is how useless I am.
------------------To be continued------------------
Notes from the Author:
It has been so long… I hope you’re still going to read this, and not kill me afterwards. >_<
I missed Shinku and my readers as well. *hugs*
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